Radical Self-Acceptance
Wherein for the Feminine Person, Body Positivity & Femininity are Inextricable
Femininity takes on many forms; however, whiteness and thinness are still viewed as the highest echelon of beauty. As reported by NPR, the “association between beauty and whiteness has proved hard to shake,” with the continuing perception in most people’s mind that the image of an "all-American beauty" is still a thin, blonde, blue-eyed white woman. Poet and artist, Shlagha Borah, dispels this thinking by decentering the West through a mini-collection of four self portraits.
As a creative, we wanted to know Borah’s thoughts on how the art community could be better and how she uplifts herself, as a woman of color, and her fellow underrepresented artists.
Her answer, straightforward,
“These systemic structures will always try to oppress us. Only by supporting, encouraging and promoting each other, can we rise above them. I want people in the creative fields to remember that more opportunities for someone else doesn’t mean lesser ones for you.” She listed examples artists can do, such as sharing each other’s works, referring someone in a room of opportunities, and distributing resources.
She described the word “apricity1” with one word: warmth.
“Apricity to me would be the things that make my heart warm, even during a turmoil, like this pandemic,” she continued. “I remember explaining apricity to my friends, I'd said, "it's like your favourite song, or your comfort food, or that baggy t-shirt that's faded but you still keep it close", and they seemed to understand it perfectly!”
The warmth and subtle confidence exuded by Borah’s photographs is not always the reality for younger girls, fem2 gender non-conforming and nonbinary folks. And often, it is these women and fem-presenting folks that face harsher criticism to ‘mold’ their outward appearance to adhere to Western, Eurocentric, white ideals of beauty. We asked how her definition of apricity translated to body positivity.
“For the longest time, I hated my body. In fact, I can't say that I have accepted and made peace with how I look completely,” Borah confessed. “Of course, there were standards, especially from pop culture that led me (and so many other people) to think that we weren't beautiful just because we didn't look a certain way.”
Borah’s partner, also a photographer, would take pictures of her in her private spaces, yet she felt “uglier” than his other models and disliked the way she looked on camera. While it has been a difficult journey for her, the process of taking these self-portraits was freeing. It was a space to claim as her own and be anything she wanted.
“I'm still in the process, but the feeling of learning to be comfortable in your own skin, what's more warm and fuzzy than that?” Borah wanted to address girls, fem gender non-conforming and nonbinary folks to be comfortable in their own skin: “In a world that's always telling us to do this and do that, simply existing beyond these norms is a huge feat. Take your time, take a look at yourself in the mirror, and do whatever makes you feel happy. Be the person you are when you think no one's looking.”
The work itself is very intimate: the portraits are black and white and show Borah and her body, vulnerable to viewers. The idea for this project was born during her local lockdown. Her friends were asleep while she was restless. She went out to the other room, switched on a lamp, and decided to take a few pictures.
She admitted, “I still don't know how to use a camera, so I used my phone for taking these photographs. Initially, I took pictures of my face because I'd put eyeliner on and was feeling cute, but then I thought, ‘no one's up, even if I look hideous, no one's gonna see this, so why not go ahead?’” And after shooting closer, more revealing photos, confidence stirred from within: “I didn't care about my stretch marks or my love handles. And by the time I was done, I felt so liberated, and went off to sleep like a baby.”
Regarding the color scheme of the photographs, Borah had a technical approach: “I feel like black and white pictures help to discern the background from the foreground really well. When I take pictures in colour, I feel like there’s too much happening, so I decided to keep it simple.” We asked what Borah wanted viewers to remember about her. Unwavering, she proclaimed: “I am my own person; my insecurities have only made me stronger, and that things, no matter how bad they look, do get better.”
Body positivity is a movement that seems to only gain more momentum. It’s artists like Borah who are beginning to shift what the mainstream perceives as beautiful and feminine. Her use of composition makes it feel as though the viewer is there with her in these moments, following her thought process. If we place these photographs, as if in consecutive order, the shoulder shot is hesitant, unsure if she should even continue with her spontaneous project. Then, in the second photograph, Borah holds her stomach. Again, as if contemplating, ‘am I beautiful?’ It seems as if the negative thoughts won with the third picture, Borah covering herself with a picture, switching to another activity. The last picture is redemption; the pillow is gone.
Borah stands in confidence, her back bare to us, as if to say,
‘yes, I am beautiful.’
Thank you for reading Contemplations with Keana! Contemplations is a newsletter including my reflections on personhood and poetry, activism and intergenerational trauma, the Filipinx/a/o community, articles without a home, reviews too emotional for Medium, and more. Subscribe for free to receive new posts once a month and to support my work year-round. For more of my work, please visit my website. To contact me for other queries, I can be reached at KeanaAguilaLabra@Gmail.Com. Thank you again!
revolture’s first theme, apricity, is a platform to which creatives could submit their ‘feel good’ stories to share. In response to this call, poet and artist, Shlagha Borah sent a photography submission addressing femininity, confidence, and how it relates to apricity.
a. This article was originally published by revolture, a now defunct publication.
Not all non-binary and gender non-conforming peoples identify with feminine terminology. However, we wanted to be inclusive of the folks who do, hence the adjective ‘fem.’